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February 25, 2009

I wanna live it. I want /you/ to see it.

A thousand things are spinning around in my head right now. I just really want to talk about God. I want to just about every aspect of Him. About His perfect awesomeness. But here's the thing. First, words can not describe Him. Second, if the could, I would not be capable of describing him. Because I'm a sinner.

But anyways...I want to talk about so much right now. I really want to go on a missions trip. Like now. But I can't. I really want to go write a song that captures His amazingness, but I can't. I really want to sponsor a child. I really want to raise bucket loads of money to give to orphans in third world countries. This I can attempt to do. I wish that church was every day. I wish that I could go to Australia and visit Hillsong church. I wish that I loved God like I should. But I can't. I can never love Him like I should.

I want every single person who I EVER meet to look at me and know how incredibly much I love God. I want them to see God in me. Not to draw attention to myself, but to God. I want everything is my life to be drenched with God. I want to grow dramatically in Godliness. I want everyone around me to fall in love with God.

I want to be an obvious Christian that is obviously crazy in love with God and obviously has Him in every area of my life. Actually, I want it to be an obvious fact that He is my life.

And, I don't want people to get an inaccurate view of me. I don't want anyone who ever meets me to think I'm incredibly Godly, that I have everything down, or that I am anything worthy of any-type of admiration or praise. This is simply un-true and I'm incredibly un-worthy. No matter how much I ever love God, I will never be close to perfect. I will never be anything more than a wretched sinner in need of her Savior. But if you ever see anything remotely good in me, all glory goes to God. But you know what? Since I'm a sinner, sometimes I want that glory to be to me. Because you know what? I sometimes like praise. But that in it's self is incredibly sinful and I'm incredibly selfish. But, never let me get that glory. Never. Please.

Oh goodness. He died for me. For ME! He choose to die for me. Wow. That is the most incredibly humbling thing ever. Incredible. I can't stop saying it.

I repeat: I want to be an obvious Christian that is obviously crazy in love with God and obviously has Him in every area of my life. Actually, I want it to be an obvious fact that He is my life.

So there you go. That is whats on my mind.

5 comments:

Emily S. said...

that's wonderful! i'll pray that God grants you that desire. :)

Mark said...

Exactly. Just yes. Of course you know that is exactly the same with me. Amen.

Praise God!

Lindsey said...

Wow. Yes, exactly.

Matt said...

wow...wow. It's really very obvious...wow this is amazing.

Emily Joy said...

Thanks Matt =)

And thanks guys for praying?

Yeah, Mark. This post is partially a result of you. Thanks for that =)