Thank You Lord.

An amazingly overwhelming desire to grow has grown in me. God has ignited in me an incredible passion for growing in character. I don't think I have ever desired to grow in character more than I do now. I don't think I have ever been so excited about killing sin. I have never had such excitement and pleasure in the idea that, while relying on God's strength, I can grow to be more like Him. Just thinking of all of the ways I can be serving Him if I grow, challenges me. Serving Him is so lovely.My friends, God is so attractive and lovely. He is the most beautiful thing that exists. Aspiring to grow to be more like Him not only blesses you and challenges others, but it glorifies His name greatly.

As a girl, I know it can be a temptation to put a focus on the outer appearance. It's so vain and I know I could put way too much of a focus on it. But never have I cared so little about it than I do now. The only way I desire to be beautiful is by God shining in me. I know I have much room for growth, but God gives much grace and He is so patient with me.

I am tired of my sin. I hate it. The idea of overcoming weaknesses and growing in character for the glory of God is so appealing to me. Ah, dear God please keep this passion ignited in me and don't let it fade. Also, please help me to rely on your strength so that I can make progress, rather than fail. I am so weak. So, so weak. I am helpless without you Lord.

I just needed to say that. I'm too passionate about it to keep it to myself. Sorry for the little rave, haha.

Obsession

"Obsession"

By: Starfield

I am fixed on You
As the world flies by
I have lost myself
In Your blinding light

This obsession is my call
Owning body mind and soul
All I live for is to know You and be known

This obsession makes me whole
I give in to its control
It consumes me like a fire within my bones

I am not my own
I have been erased
Like a canvas washed by the stokes of grace

You're my obsession
You're all I ever need
I'm Your posession

I Will Love You.

I think I would consider this my life motto or prayer or whatever you want to call it. I love this song a whole lot:

When I think of all You are, in my life and in my heart; no words can say what I feel. Cause if anything is true, it's what I have found in You. Lord, to me, there's nothing so real. And though there is no way I can repay You, I'll give You whatever You want. I'll live a life that says You give me every song. With my every breath I'll make Your mercy known. With every soul on earth or all alone; I will love You, I will love You.

Angels see You face to face. If I could I'd take their place, and poor out my heart to You. But what they don't understand, is to know Your grace first hand and how it feels to love like I do. You bring me to my knees with Your kindness. Lord, there's nothing I can hold back. I'll live a life that says You give me every song. With my every breath I'll make Your mercy known. With every soul on earth or all alone; I will love You, I will love You.

With everything I am and everything I have, I dedicate myself to doing one thing well. I will love You.

ahh!

On Saturday, I'm taking the ACT. My score will be sent to all of the nursing programs that I am applying to. Nursing school is super hard to get in to and unfortunately, all that the schools care about are my numbers. My score could make or break my opportunity to get into nursing school. I really feel the pressure. Dear God, please help me.

Waiting

Right now, my life is filled with a lot of waiting. Waiting can be so hard. But another thing that can be even harder is be an active waiter. God wants us to use every second of our lives for His glory. I think that when we think we are waiting for something, we can forget to make sure to utilize these in-between times. I think we sometimes forget that these times are just as important as any other time. No moment is any less important or critical, when thinking of it spiritually.

In church yesterday, one thing stood out to me during the message. "It's the day to day mundane things that ultimately glorifies Christ."

I am reminded of a song that I want to define me...especially during this season:

While I'm Waiting
By John Waller

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Hey!

So, I would like to revive this blog....I like blogging....even though not many people do it any more.

School is starting tomorrow and with that comes routine. I like routine. I also like spontaneity. But really, routine makes for a more disciplined Emily, which is good. haha. I over-analyze everything. But you love me for it, right? :)

Alrighty, a real bloggity post will hopefully follow soon :)

thinkin'

[this is a rambling-type blog post...beware]

I'm the type that is always pondering things and sometimes when things keep me from pondering things clearly, I start to ponder why these things get in my way and when I start to analyze myself, I completely confuse myself. It's complicated. Not sure if that makes any sense. But that is what is on my mind. I seriously wonder sometimes if my inability to stay focused on something is some sort of disorder like ADD or if it's my laziness and weakness that just needs to be reversed....

I've been thinking about my habits recently. Some of them I like and others I am not to fond of. I feel like some parts of my life need a bit of a make over. But sometimes I can't focus long enough to change them. ugh.

You know what else I think? I think I over-think things a lot. I think often times my motivation is good, but it drives some people crazy. I don't think everyone sees that side of me. Just a few close friends that I talk a lot to about what's on my mind(and bounce things off of them) and those are often times my friends that are also my sanctifiers. Loveee them for it :)

Above I was saying that I analyze myself a lot. And one thing that I've come to realize is that no matter how "levelheaded", rational and logical I am(which would more generally be associated with how guys think), I still think like a girl. Maybe a logical, rational and level-headed girl...but still a girl. I know that sounds like a silly thing for me to realize, but it's true and it's honestly something I didn't use to think. Why did I say this? I don't know. I was just thinking about it. I never want to sound like I don't appreciate thinking like how God made girls to think...but I sure do wish sometimes I could think a little more like my brothers on some things, haha.

Right now you're either: A) sleeping because this was so boring, B) not even reading this right now because it was so boring or C) laughing at me because I am silly and rambling and making very little sense.


Here is a random picture because I felt like posting it. These are some awesome sea gulls I met in San Francisco :)