June 23, 2010


[this is a rambling-type blog post...beware]

I'm the type that is always pondering things and sometimes when things keep me from pondering things clearly, I start to ponder why these things get in my way and when I start to analyze myself, I completely confuse myself. It's complicated. Not sure if that makes any sense. But that is what is on my mind. I seriously wonder sometimes if my inability to stay focused on something is some sort of disorder like ADD or if it's my laziness and weakness that just needs to be reversed....

I've been thinking about my habits recently. Some of them I like and others I am not to fond of. I feel like some parts of my life need a bit of a make over. But sometimes I can't focus long enough to change them. ugh.

You know what else I think? I think I over-think things a lot. I think often times my motivation is good, but it drives some people crazy. I don't think everyone sees that side of me. Just a few close friends that I talk a lot to about what's on my mind(and bounce things off of them) and those are often times my friends that are also my sanctifiers. Loveee them for it :)

Above I was saying that I analyze myself a lot. And one thing that I've come to realize is that no matter how "levelheaded", rational and logical I am(which would more generally be associated with how guys think), I still think like a girl. Maybe a logical, rational and level-headed girl...but still a girl. I know that sounds like a silly thing for me to realize, but it's true and it's honestly something I didn't use to think. Why did I say this? I don't know. I was just thinking about it. I never want to sound like I don't appreciate thinking like how God made girls to think...but I sure do wish sometimes I could think a little more like my brothers on some things, haha.

Right now you're either: A) sleeping because this was so boring, B) not even reading this right now because it was so boring or C) laughing at me because I am silly and rambling and making very little sense.

Here is a random picture because I felt like posting it. These are some awesome sea gulls I met in San Francisco :)


Anonymous said...

wow. yep, that was pretty rambly, but I wasn't sleeping, I did read the whole thing and well, yeah, I did laugh a little, but I can't laugh too long because - you guessed it, I do the exact same thing. =P

Cara said...

I agree with "mee" - you forgot D) reading and laughing sympathetically, because we do the same thing :-). I also enjoy thinking about things and analyzing myself and occasionally overthinking things (yes, I enjoy overthinking things-except when it's important to make a decision-especially quickly).

Anonymous said...

Something to over-think about...

Danzibar said...

See...I'm like a mirror image of what we're talking about here. I'm a guy and I think about why and how I think and analyze myself as well. And randomly enough...I recently decided that although I share a lot of common emotional tendencies with girls I still definately think like a guy. Like no doubt. It's like I share two minds. I can easily switch to logical problem-solving math doing mode...I mean I have's what I do all the time at college because I'm an engineer. But at the same time the emotional side of life is even more important to me than the rational. I like to lose myself there, writing poetry, singing, thinking. Also, with certain people little things they did like tone of voice, the way their eyes looked, or their body language when I talked to them would bother me for hours afterward. I used to worry that this meant I was too much like a girl...then I realized that I was just kidding myself. Beyond my quirks I am most definately a guy. For starters I like girls not guys...and there are many other such examples. And honestly...I've come to realize it's not all that weird even for a guy to worry about what girls thought about God's been working on me in that area as well. Anyway that was long, but I'm introspective and it felt appropriate for this post. Have a great day Emily! I can tell you're a girl. For starters: you look like one and you have a flower at the top of your blog! ;)